The Warmth of Jamaica
Posted by Kristen on June 4th, 2009 . Filed under: Editor's Blog .I can be cold.
So cold, in fact, it doesn’t really even bother me to admit that I’m cold. I think often times I come across as this girl who feels consistently impacted on this blog.
I write about the moments I am moved. But not often about the moments that leave me feeling no different than before. There are more of those in my life than the former.
I don’t cry.
I don’t entertain weakness.
I don’t enjoy needy people.
I more apt to think “get a job” when I walk by someone asking for money on the street than to think “take what I have”.
I’m not proud of it. Jesus and I are working on it.
I see the changes taking place. I feel my heart softening.
Take Jamaica for example. While vacationing last week in the Caribbean, wearing my bathing suit, sunglasses and sunscreen, I boarded a bus with my husband. We were to spend the day at the Sandal’s Resort Royal Caribbean.
We’d been on the cruise ship for about three days and were eager to dive into the water we had been surrounded by for the past 72 hours.
I’ve always loved Jamaica. My grandparents took me there as a junior high graduation gift and it is probably my most talked about vacation. Not because of any one thing we did — I’ve had vacations that were more fun. It’s just that Jamaica is so beautiful.
It’s like paradise. The water is crystal clear. The sky is bluer than you can imagine. The food is delicious. The waterfalls are awesome and filled with adventure. The resorts are stunning.
I could go on and on.
The thing about Jamaica is that on the right side of the road you might see a gorgeous mansion and then turn your head to the left and see a house without walls. With people living inside.
And you sit there, on your tour bus; an American with every opportunity within your reach and you’re stunned that people live in these broken, poor, devastating conditions.
Jamaica moves me more than most things.
I don’t know why.
It did the first time I visited. And it did last week.
Twice on the way to Sandal’s Royal Caribbean Resort, I cried.
People on the bus were dancing and singing and laughing and taking pictures with their friends.
And I was breaking.
I turned to Eric and said, “We are disgusting. We are privileged and spoiled and pathetic and selfish.”
How else do you respond to this?
I’ve been thinking a lot about Jamaica this last week.
Because it’s easy to look at a dilapidated house, children without food, a wife who has lost her husband in a tragic accident or an unspeakable tragedy and feel sad.
We do that everyday.
The news comes on and we think, “That’s horrible.”
“How tragic.”
“Father, help them.”
Yet we rarely act on those things.
We often feel moved yet rarely move.
This last week the Lord has been pointing my attention to things I’d normally not see during my day and saying, “Him, over there. Jamaica.”
“Look at her, broken and bleeding inside, she’s Jamaica.”
Everywhere I look.
I see Jamaica.
It’s melting my heart.
Calling me to action.
Making me move.
June 4th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Kristen, this is beautifully convicting. Witnessing the change in your heart is moving and the truth of how sickeningly well we have it in comparison to those we all too often ignore…there just aren’t words. Tears, but no words. Love you!
June 4th, 2009 at 8:20 am
Powerful, friend, and just exactly where God wants you to be today. He gives us these moments to shape and change our hearts/perspective. Most days, we walk away from them, back to our comfortable until the ache of that moment loses its grip. I know. I’m guilty. Perhaps one of the reasons I stand on the outskirts of life rather than moving into the crossroads with Jesus (remember that post?).
The struggle comes in knowing what to do … what boundaries to cross and which ones are better left erected. I’ll be praying for you today as you seek your heart in the matter.
One more thing, while sitting in the dr.s office yesterday, I was talking with someone about my son going to Bolivia next week (really I’m struggling with all of that, but ever since his trip last summer, it’s been in his heart to go back); I commented to this lady that I don’t need to go to another country to find a mission field. I looked around the room and said “the mission field is here.”
Perhaps God will use your poignant memories to stir your heart for the mission field that exists at your fingertips. Right now, in this moment. I know it’s early in Texas, but the sun is coming. So is the Son. Get moving and keep to it.
I love you.
peace~elaine
June 4th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Wow. Thank you for sharing your heart, and sharing these pictures. It beautiful to read about how God is working in your heart. I have the opposite problem… I am too soft (or so I thought). I see a homeless man in the median and beg my husband to stop the car and give money … then cry if he’s not comfortable slamming on the brakes in the middle of the lane with cars goes 50mph behind us! But, after talking it over with hubby I found that he doesn’t see it as a bad thing and he loves it that I am so affected by what I see. I just need to trust him a little more for our personal safety and the safety of the others on the road! Thank you for the reminder that I’m not crazy and that we need a few more softies in such a hard world. You’re wonderful!
blessings~Lauren
June 4th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Every so often God will use something to shake me out of my comfort zone, and then remind me that while He may not be sending me to another country, His heart is also with the hurting around me daily. The thing with living among it is we get so used to overlooking and ignoring it, don’t we? God has put us in these places of privilege so that we can help the hurting and the homeless – what a wonderful gift! (and thank you for the reminder that I, too, need to be more aware of those around me and more willing to help, more willing to be inconvenienced for His sake.)
June 4th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Oh, Kristen, thank you for sharing this. My cousin went on his honeymoon to the Jamaica Sandals resort, and we started talking about the poverty in Jamaica. My hubby and I went on a mission trip there while we were in college, and I was just stunned beyond belief to see the living conditions there. We visited orphanages, and the most vivid memory I have there is this one girl, probably 6 or 7 years old…I don’t know what happened to her, but she had been neglected, which made her fearful and clingy. And she clung to me, quite literally, actually, and I held her for hours. It was the most devastating and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever been through on a mission trip. To see this beautiful girl unable to speak because of neglect and probably abuse just humbled me.
I wish I had a point to this rambling, but I don’t. I wish I could have brought that girl home with me, though. =(
June 4th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I love “we are often moved but rarely move.” SO true. And I felt EXACTLY the same way when I went to the Amazon rainforest. Praying God get you – ALL of us, to move.
June 4th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Beautiful Reflection. You have me thinking…
June 4th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
There you go, Sweetheart, making this ole softie cry. I’m going to Cambodia in late Oct, and I know my heart is going to break into. Your ministry and your heart are a true blessing, right where you are.
June 4th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Great thoughts! My brother was a missionary in El Salvador for over 10 years. When you watch someone build their home from scraps, you cannot help but be touched in your heart. God is working with you, sweetie, keep those thoughts in your heart.
June 4th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
We often feel moved but never move…
oh how I understand this statement. God has been challenging me in this area this year. I often feel so moved by things and think oh I should do something and yet I never do.
I read a blog the other day about donating to a ministry and how as Christians we often feel as if we need something in return…he used the example of a tshirt. I had never thought of it that way but it opened my eyes.
Just like this post did…
I pray that my eyes stay wide opened and I move.
June 4th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Kristen,
I think we’re twins! I’m a pretty practical, stoic, buck-up-little camper kind of gal. But I’m amazed at how God has thawed some of the frosty spots in my heart over the past couple years. Jesus is still working on me though.
A big change in my heart has come about from being involved in the prison ministry.
My family and I are going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic this summer and I imagine it will strike me as Jamaica struck you.
Great post!
June 4th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Enjoyed reading your blog tonight. I am still finding my way around blogland….I always love making new friends..I am posting about Disney so hope you will stop by. Commenting automatically puts you in the drawing for the June giveaway. What a beautiful blog you have….
June 5th, 2009 at 5:24 am
Amazing post Kristen. You once again inspire with your ability to hit right where it counts the most. We, even here in Australia, take it for granted that we have a nice roof over our heads, a warm bed to sleep in, satisfying food to eat, sound cars to drive, and the list could go on and on. xo
June 5th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
We stayed at the Royal Caribbean in October of 2007…and were simply shocked at the 10 minute ride from the airport to the resort. Literally…dirt roads next to the “highway,” goats roaming around the “highway,” shacks and lean-to’s (sp?) as homes…and then the gorgeous grounds of the Royal Caribbean…all right there together.
We spent a lot of time talking to our butlers while there…and feeling guilty for even having a butler, especially after they treated us like royalty. Which we didn’t deserve. One told us that he’d been saving for 3 years to afford a home for himself, his wife, and their then 2-year old daughter, so that he could move from his parents’ tiny house, which they all shared together. When we began to tell him about the Lord, his face lit up and he said, “Are you my brother and sister in Christ, then? I am a Believer, too!” Scott and I cried…and it was the favorite part of our entire trip. More than the beauty of Jamaica, more than the horror of the poverty there…because we found common ground with a family member…in a paradise that can’t compare to the one we’ll be reunited in one day.
p.s. I loved this post…you are a far better person than I’ll ever be…sincerely…
June 6th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Deep breath—still processing…so moving…thank you…
June 7th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Wow.
I’m a cold person, too, and I’ve been asking for compassion…this piece says so much, Kristen! So much.
Huggles!
June 8th, 2009 at 10:15 am
You are so right. We have all the comforts in the world and yet we complain and whine like spoiled little children. I, too, was moved and humbled by a trip to Jamaica. To hear about people living in complete poverty is one thing, to see and experience it is something else entirely. It’s impossible to be the same person you were before. I used to be a very cold and merciless person, but God has been changing me, slowly. I didn’t even realize it had happened until one day we were walking into WalMart and a lady with her son approached us. She was selling her own belongings to get money for food for her son. My hubby was with us and he’s a go-get-a-job kind of person, so under his direction we politely turned her away. Moments later we were sitting in McDonalds eating… all I could do was think of her and her son. I felt so unworthy of the meal I was enjoying. In fact, I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn’t eat. I wanted to take my food and run out into the parking lot in search of this lady. And I would have if my hubby hadn’t been with me. But instead I just sat there… moved, but not moving. It broke my heart.
June 8th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
This post just echoes my heart right now. God is doing something, isn’t he? He’s calling his people to action–to more than just feeling but to being. To being the help that someone needs. To being the shelter the homeless are seeking. To being the answer for the questioning. To just being…HIM…in our world.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:02 am
And I’ve seen this kind of poverty right here in Applachian America, too. Oh my. The key is to do something…after our hearts are moved…just to do something.